Family systems are hard

Ok, I’ve had a couple days to process my experience on Thanksgiving. I don’t want to spread too much negativity here so I’m going to give sound bytes.We love gay people. We love queer, trans, bi etc.. people. We also like hetero, straight, gender neutral, asian, black, and even some white people.That being said, there’s tension in my in-law family because we love all these people. On Thanksgiving, “some people” compared a cousin of ours who exposed himself to the best-friend of his wife to us letting our daughters see some queer friends hold hands. I kind of lost it at that point and tried to express how that is VERY different, and tried to argue how they were being selective literalistic in their translation/understanding of the Bible….with no success.So, we are asking ourselves “which is more evil, allowing our girls to be cut off from “significant family” or allowing them to be with their “significant family” that speak hatred, bigotry and prejudice in the name of Christ?”It’s a hard road to walk down. Note: I’ve redacted some of my original post. In talking with Mel, we’ve decided that to exclude family would be a symmetry response and not a positive step towards personal self-dissassociation – or balancing a fine line of autonomy and connectedness. We are taking the posture of waiting, and maintaing a stance to refuse to engage these members of our family in this negative cyclic conversation that is doomed to blow up.   

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One response to “Family systems are hard

  1. Two things: First, please feel free to say “I love gay people…” as a stand alone statement because that does not funny at all!
    Second: I have actually met Kailey and Molly and it really take a lot of work to put hate in their hearts towards someone their parents are buddies with.

    Jim

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